I've been thinking about myself lately. Before I couldn't seem to decifer all of these weird feelings I've gotten this past month. But now, I've realized that maybe subconsciously the butterflies in my stomach have been a Bastard alarm. My ex-boyfriend is a huge jerk to his girlfriends. We stopped dating right before Freshman Year. After about 6 months, he treated me like shit and I hated him. And he has treated every girlfriend after me the same exact way.He has a new girlfriend, sophmore. She's a cutiepie, she really is. And she's sweet too. I don't know what is is, but the fucking idiot just keeps popping up in my life like it's nothing. And so the alarm goes off. And he starts talking to me again. And he starts smiling at me again. With those stupid fucking dimples. And when he walks away I always mutter,"Bastard". And he is one. He's a Bastard. A jerk. One who keeps stealing my heart, and making me fall in love all over again. If you ever read this, bastard of mine, I love you. And I hate you. I hate you for hurting me, time and time again. I hate you for making me leave. I hate you for making me jealous. I hate you for being with her. I hate you for being so beautiful. I hate you for smiling at me when I see you. I hate you for making me fall for you. I hate you for making me look for you at lunch every day. I hate you for making me love you. And I love you for it. You Bastard.